It's done. I went through the legal process of changing my name back to my maiden name. On Tuesday I got my new driver's license and changed my bank account. I'm a little overwhelmed by all the things that need changing still but I can honestly say I never wavered once I made this decision.
It's a little strange though. This feeling of in-between-ness. A lack of identity. Sure, this name was mine, the one I was born with but still, I haven't had it since 1985. I had it for less time than I had my married name. Learning a new signature was weird. My new-old name is harder to say than my married name. I see it written and it's familiar enough. My siblings and my parents all have it.
And yet, now at 50, I'm looking at my name on my new driver's license and the god-awful picture is not of me at 22, the last time I had that name on a driver's license. It's a 50-year old woman who checks the 'yes' box that her height and weight are still the same. I've been checking that box through several licenses so it must be true, right? In the larger scheme of things, 10 pounds isn't really that big of a deal.
Good thing I'll have this license until 2020. Is that a real date in time? I never knew Maryland had licenses that lasted 7+ years but I figure when I renew on my 58th birthday in 2020, I'm pretty sure I'll still weigh the same.