Friday, July 12, 2013

I Apologize

I hate to sound so bitchy.  I really do.  There are some good things in my life and while I miss hanging out with certain friends of mine, I am very happy that they are happy.  I really mean that.

I miss so many people.

But my days are filled and for the most part things are going pretty well.  I love both my jobs.  I just signed a lease for my third year in this house.  That's important to me because at least my home base stays stable and constant.  I couldn't ask for a better landlord.

Speaking of my house, my cable got hit by lightning for the second time since I've lived here.  Last month, I heard the exact same pop and fizz that happened when I got hit soon after I moved in.  This time my old trusty desktop just couldn't take the punishment and refused to be resuscitated.  I'm now typing on a new laptop and quite frankly, I don't like it. But, it was what I could afford at a time when I really didn't need an added expenditure. This time, I told my landlord about it, since this house is the only one in the row of rowhouses that has been affected.  Hopefully he can figure it out.  Or he can perhaps hire a kid who can explain it to the both of us.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

Still Waiting...

...although I am getting smart enough to realize that that good mojo is not happening any time soon.

Knowing that gives me some control over the situation.  I guess.

It's interesting, this world of ours. The things we notice from different perspectives are, well, different.  When I was part of a couple, I never realized how couple-centric everything was.  But hey, as a single woman, I notice it all...the 2-for-1 world we live in is so geared towards couples and dates and gahhhh...

I am increasingly becoming the third wheel in so many aspects of life.  From the lovely family beach photos on Facebook (which I am starting to resent...I mean really.  How many fucking pictures of your vacation at the beach am I supposed to look at and pretend that I am happy for you?  I sense a mass un-friending about to happen) to the ever insistent bargain deal at Applebees/Olive Garden/Friday's nastiness promoting shared apps and desserts.

I'm so tired of being surprised by all of this. I shouldn't be.  I've been single long enough to know all this.  But lately...lately it has been harder.  My single divorced girlfriend, who I had a ton-o-fun with has a new boyfriend and I never see her anymore.  Even my daughter who I love to hang out with a couple times a week has a new boyfriend.  At least he likes me and we get along great but I don't want to be that pity inclusion anymore.

The funny thing is...I don't want a boyfriend.  I want my fun girlfriends to hang out with again.

I might change my mind about that boyfriend thing.  Someday.  Once I find someone who can prove not all men are assholes.  I'm not that desperate to join the couples world.