Monday, January 30, 2012

Sweet Emotion

One of the hardest things for me to have learned about myself through all this intense counseling is that I am an all-or-nothing, do-or-die, black-and-white perfectionist procrastinator.

That's a helluva-lot to digest.

Especially once one realizes it is indeed all true.

(I just looked out the window, swung side to side in my chair [that I put together, ROAR!] and took a deep breath, heavy sigh combo)

The theme this week was: emotions. I couldn't figure out why I wasn't getting the A-Ha! moment that I wanted from all the goddammed crying I was doing last week. And while my counselor today was explaining to me about how my dominant logical self wants resolution to every! damn! thing! that comes up...my super-suppressed Emotional side is clamoring for someone, anyone to recognize she exists.

So blubber away, emotional side. I see ya, and I'll raise ya. Because now I know the secret. I can let you and your emotions into the pool, but I know now where the ladder is so that I can climb out. I'll meet you at the Balance Beam...

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