I've also been on pins and needles since last Monday waiting to hear from my older daughter who was injured in the army's basic training and is supposed to come home for a 30-day convalescent leave. I thought for sure she would be home now and the lack of communication is starting to drive me crazy.
So, I did something that was a huge mistake last weekend. I went on a date for the first time since, oh, high school? Sure I had boyfriends in college but college kids don't go on dates. They go to parties and hang out with friends and well, I don't have to tell you. I was never much of a dater anyways. I never went out with a single boy from my high school; I had summer boyfriends from other schools and when school started, I broke up with them. I probably sensed the potential awkwardness of a high school romance gone wrong. My high school was very small.
Speaking of awkwardness...my date last weekend comes to mind. This was a guy who has mutual friends with a friend of mine. I met him once before over the previous weekend and during the week he asked me to go out to dinner. I should have listened to that inner voice I am so desperate to find again and admit to myself that no, I'm not ready. I've only been divorced for one month after all. But encouraged by one of my best friends M to give him a chance, I agreed to the date.
The date started out nicely enough. He took me to a very nice restaurant that I had never been to before and the conversation was pleasant enough but I knew right away he wasn't for me. He was a gentleman, don't get me wrong, but he came on a bit too strong for me. When I described it to M, he explained that the guy was trying to plan a way to get me on an overnight trip. Well, no wonder I felt the hairs on the back of my neck a few times that night.
So now I know, I'm not ready. I knew it before, but now I really know...ya know?