Sunday, April 8, 2012


Every first Saturday of each month, my town has a themed street festival. Most shops stay open later than usual and restaurants are packed full of locals and tourists alike. Since I moved downtown, I haven't attended a single one of them.

I didn't really understand why. I mean, all I have to do is walk a couple blocks and I am there. I do that walk all the time but for some reason, the idea of walking down there during any "event" just paralyzes me.

It's not the walk itself of course. It's the idea of wandering through large groups of friends and families stretched the width of the sidewalk. Of negotiating past lovers holding hands and laughing together, young parents pushing strollers and keeping toddlers entertained.

This morning, I realized I haven't left my house since Friday afternoon. I've just hung out, reading my library books and cooking meals for one. I'm getting much better at being alone but sometimes, the loneliness can be crushing. Still, I'd rather be lonely and alone than lonely living with someone who ignores me. There is always that.


  1. There is always that (not being with someone who ignores you)! I find that since I've been unemployed that it is shocking how many days I can go without going out of the yard. If we didn't need groceries and Bourbon, I'm not sure when I'd leave.

  2. At times like this, I really do miss having a yard. It's been nice not having so much responsibility though. Yeah, the house is stocked with groceries but I need to make a beer/wine run soon. My bourbon bottle is going to need to be replaced next week. I wonder if liquor stores are open today? Happy Easter!

  3. Hi Liz - I just stumbled on this - you got to this point much quicker than I did. But I am still in my same house. And I have always been a hermit at heart - so I make myself go out at least once a weekend. Walmart, grocery store, gas station - it all counts! Because if I don't, the next time I go out, I am the lady at the grocery store telling everybody her life story and her aches and pains and how many times she poops a day. Well, not that last part - YET. You are doing great!

  4. Thanks Cindy, it's very nice to hear from you. Especially with words of encouragement. I agree, sometimes I force myself to go out, even if it is only for a walk. So far, no pooping stories!! :)